Motherhood

After I finished college, I was totally focused on my career. I was a movin' n' shakin' kind of person always figuring out how to make things happen. If one door closed, I went through the next one. Constantly, my focus was on building a successful career.

After I got married, that focus didn't change. Even though I landed in New York, then Illinois I always found a way to do my thing. Then, I got to the point where I felt is was time to have children. At first I wrestled about whether I should achieve all of my dreams first, then have a child or have one right smack dab in the middle of my progress. After some time in prayer, smack dab in the middle was where it would be.

As I went through my first pregnancy I was a radio announcer. I loved my job and had no plans of quitting. In fact, I had planned to have the baby and go right back to work. I'd find a good daycare to watch the baby while I was away from home.

However, My plans changed the night my first born entered the world. I had not done a lot of babysitting, so I was very inexperienced when it came to handling a baby. That night, he was crying and I couldn't seem to give him comfort. I walked him and rocked him and nothing worked. As I held him I pressed my face against his, and that's when it happened. I felt his first tear fall against my face. It was like a faucet of pure love flowing like a river. This child who was once destined for day care had, in an instant, stolen my heart. I refuse to let some one else take care of this precious child. No one will love him like I do. I thought.

That night was when I made the decision to stay home to raise him and put my budding career on hold. I would never again, view motherhood the same.

To be continued...